I try to avoid public performing ever since the time I blacked out while playing the piano in church because I was just that nervous. That being said, last night I went to an open mic night and performed a couple poems I wrote. 1. The fact I got up on that stage and did it without anyone pushing me into it is just a flippin' miracle and I'm really proud of myself for it; 2. I've been writing poetry since high school but I never let anyone see it (most people don't know I even write that much because it's not something I'm really that open about), so to let a bar full of complete strangers hear it is something I never thought would happen.
But it was so much fun. People were cheering and laughing and being really encouraging. I don't know if they genuinely liked it or were just being nice, but either way it made the whole experience something I would (and probably will) do again.
Now the sad part: I can only write really good stuff (poetry and stories) when I'm emotionally hurting really bad. And I'm not really right now. I mean there are moments, but not enough to get those lines to pop into my head. So what's more important: creativity or stability?
Syd
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